Told you…
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Told you that they are waiting for you. It’s that time of year when mosquitoes feast on human prey, mainly you and me. If you haven’t had any bites yet, it will be for two reasons.
You smell so bad that the winged ones can’t detect your carbon dioxide smell.
And you have a husband like mine whose eyeballs bulge just at the mention of mmmmm’s. Not even allowed to say that word mosquito in our house, not unless you want to risk dying from insecticide poisoning at the hand of his truly. He has giant canisters all over the house, in every room and he used to have those plug in mosquito repellants too until I convinced him that he was destroying our immune systems and he was killing us slowly. It took a few nights of me pretending to cough, then wheeze and occasionally hold my breath for long periods, whilst faking sleep, before he finally believed me. No, he doesn’t read my blog. Shhh.
We went into El Corte Ingles recently to buy a travel cot and I knew something was wrong when in the middle of talking to the sales lady about her range of travel cots he suddenly went very quiet and his eyes went upwards. Not quite into their sockets but enough to make me wonder if he was having a seizure, if his life insurance policy was up to date and why on earth hadn’t I made a Spanish will.
It was actually a mosquito that he had spotted on the ceiling. She really wasn’t bothered in the slightest until she grasped that unless she killed it she wasn’t going to make a sale from the man in front of her who had suddenly turned all dark, silent and brooding.
So we are pretty much mosquito free. We have the nets, we have the sprays and I have my husband. I also have lavendar spray that I use so that if one does appear whilst we are sleeping, at least it will go for my husband instead of me.
If you are in the Campo beware. My daughter came home from a sleepover with over 16 bites. My husband still hasn’t recovered from the shock of seeing them……
My preferred method of extermination, from Mercadona, kills all living things ( but not husbands) dead in 1.352 seconds. Alternatively you can hire my husband for the price of a bag of jellybabies.....
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