Why do restaurants keep banging on about healthy eating? When I go out to a restaurant I don’t want to healthily. I want fat, more fat and a huge slice of something that contains chocolate. I don’t want to hand over 25 euros at the end to have digested nothing but low fat, low sugar and large quantities of green things. With all the rain we’ve had since Christmas in Marbella, I don’t want to see anything else that is green. Unless it is a 100 euro bill. Or an emerald….

However for those of you that disagree you may be interested to know that Da Brunos and restaurants in San Pedro are having for the whole of March as…wait for it…asparagus month. That’s really going to get people in through the door. Da Bruno’s has a healthy eating campaign and asparagus is what you are going to get…..some of the dishes they will have on the menu include,

White and Green Asparagus Risotto
White Asparagus with Parma Ham
Sauted Asparagus with Ham and Mushrooms
White and Green Asparagus in Vinaigrette and Salmon Bombs
White Asparagus with Grilled Galician Veal Loin
White Asparagus with Boiled New Potatoes and Hollandaise Sauce
White Asparagus Gratinated a la Parmigiana

So if you are an asparagus fan or rabbit please do make your way over to Da Brunos restaurant. Personally, I’ll just wait for their “chocolate month…” or for a change in their marketing department.

It’s causing a few problems as traffic slows down to overtake carefully.

I overtake carefully too. Not so worried about knocking them over but one does like to investigate their cycling shorts, all in the name of art.

Mens cycling, rugby and diving are all excellent female spectator sports…..

My shortcrust pastry.

I attempted an apple pie yesterday and although it looked fabulous when it came out of the oven, I struggled to cut it open. In fact I had to get a metal tool and bang it much to everyone’s delight around the table. My cooking always brings mirth to the house.

My husband and son also had bad stomach ache afterwards. They politely said they had overeaten. The real reason was of course that their stomach was having to digest concrete like slabs of pastry. I can’t really call it pastry. It had the texture of something used in the Spanish construction industry.

I can’t even bring myself to throw it out for the birds in case I kill them but it would make an excellent weapon of mass destruction.

Or a very reliable doorstop.

Nivea contains four potentially harmful chemicals that are on the European Union list. Of the list produced, Nivea topped all the others, with 28 products in total, including their suntan lotions and face creams. Biotherm had 8 products that had potentially harmful chemicals added.
Biotherm’s parent company L’Oreal responded to the findings, “The ingredients in our products are legal, and even though a product contains an ingredient that is on the EU priority list that you mention, of substances that potentially cause hormone imbalance, that is not the same as saying that the product does cause hormonal imbalance.”
If you are a woman and have suddenly discovered that you have grown a beard maybe try products with less chemicals from a family business based in Spain, www.lujos.co.uk. Lovely soaps, eye creams and facial creams with fresh ingredients and locally sourced.

Now with me, you must remember that I cannot cook. Therefore when I give you a recipe you can guarantee that you won’t have to find some peppery spice that is only grown on top of Mount Everest and sold only on one website whose server is always down. You also won’t need any Jamie Oliver cooking utensils and all my recipes are best made after downing half a bottle of any Lidl red wine. It helps with the nerves.

This costs about 6.00 euros for the whole meal and feeds 5 people and looks REALLY amazing when it goes into the oven ( make sure your mum in law sees it) and looks just as good when it comes out. It is also one of those meals that you don’t have to do very much, the oven does all the work, so ideal if you have guests or hungry children.

Ingredients

5 portions of chicken ( Mercadona sell them for under 5 euros)
2 large onions
1 sweet red pepper
coarse sea salt ( look at me sounding all pro…., pepper and sage ( the word for sage in Spanish is salvia)
Olive oil to drizzle

Method

THIS IS SO EASY.

Place your 5 chicken portions on a baking tray so that they are only just touching.
Chop into quarters your onions and place on tray with chicken.
Slice into thickish pieces your red pepper, not too small otherwise it will burn.
Sprinkle lots of sea salt, some black pepper and sage onto the chicken.
Drizzle a small amount of olive oil onto chicken.

Place into a hot pre heated oven at 180 degrees for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, baste at least once if you can…..

Voila, food cooked, looks great, onions will taste divine and your mother in law will be placated if not stuffed.

Well today I felt like celebrating. I don’t have any dusty bottles of Moet, I don’t even have a bottle of Sprite lying around, so I’ve eaten a full bag of Leys Salt and Vinegar crisps, a whole bar of chocolate and a full can of coca cola. Full sugar too I’ll have you know. You can’t get high on aspartame.

The reason I feel like celebrating…..its Friday, its raining and my Spanish house is still standing.

There are some good points to being drowned on a daily basis.

1. You don’t have to clean your windows as there is no sunshine to show up the smears

2. You can eat more chocolate as you can get away with wearing  baggy jumpers for longer. Bikini season may not happen unless it involves swimming through the tunnel at Puerto Banus to rescue car drivers who thought they were driving a Range Rover and not a Fiat Panda.

3. You can easily now figure out the build quality of your house. If it is standing excellent quality. If it has collapsed, not so good build quality.

4. Less tourists means more car parking spaces.

5 You have time to daydream about garden centres like you used to when you lived in the UK. All your plants have drowned and rotted away so you are going to need to buy a whole garden full when the sun does make an appearance.

6. You can have conversations about the weather to strangers, yourself and the dog ( or in my case the hamster)

7. Fashion no longer matters at the school playground. If you can manage an umbrella that hasn’t blown inside out and an anorak you are winning.

8. The children won’t moan next time you take them to the beach because they have all forgotten what it looks like.

9. You no longer need to shave your legs, arms, or back. Hairy bodies provide warmth and waterproofing. ( No, I don’t shave my back, but if I did would you love me less?)

10. We get to see rainbows. (Well I have only seen one this year, and it almost made me crash my car because I could only see it via the rear view mirror) Rainbows are pretty special and you only get to see them if it rains. ( Oh and if you do blah blah blah, which has something to do with science and prisms. My son tried to tell me but I fell asleep.)

Voila….see…..happy times…..we just love the rain.

Personally I have found the Spanish to be welcoming, I have never encountered a problem here because Marbella is so International. My children haven’t been to the local schools so I can’t give my thoughts on that. I know people that are happy and unhappy with their children’s education, just the same as in the UK. The weather is usually super, but we have had a blip this winter.

Making friends is as easy or difficult as you want to make it. By living in a community, such as an apartment or townhouse it makes it easier. Mums with young children at school often make their first friends with mums at the same school as their children. There are also lots of clubs and activities for children and adults such as dancing, sports etc that also allows friendships to develop. It takes time….Here is the comment from a lady that may well be soon joining us in Marbella. If you have something to say that may help her, just post a comment and I’ll put it on the site. Thank you….

I have been living in The South of France for 5 years returned to the UK because I couldn’t stand living their anymore. Even though I do kind off like living back in the UK having no language barrier and schooling for my children, I am missing the other side of living abroard, outdoor eating, life style and the feeling of not being a number, like it is in the UK. My husband has mention living in Marbella as he has done a bit of work over their.

But is Spain similar to France are the Spanish welcoming, friendly as the french were not at all and this made me feel very sad livng amongst the attitude they have towards the English. Are the school good at catering for young children who don’t speak Spanish, and having to speak another language gives me a headache thinking about it.

I need to be around friend and I love the idea of having friend and children over to play with my children after school and at weekends. Can you make friends over in Spain easily !!!! and what is the education like !!!!!

I do want to move and the next move have to be good for me and my family. The good and bad about Marbella is what I need to hear.

I won’t make you miserable by telling you the ten day weather forecast I have just seen on MSN either….

I don’t say “hola, buenos dias” anymore.

I just quack.