Stopping distances, what are they again?
Stopping distances. We have them to stop you smashing into the car in front should there be a sudden issue on the road when all the cars need to break. Pretty common on the A7. Rubber marks, singed hedges, flowers tied to the roadside and a big sign saying how many people have died in 2010 are all there to remind us that the A7 is the nearest thing you are going to get to Russian roulette unless you have mafia links. If you are reading this, then there is a good chance you do and may I say how lovely you look today and I wish your family well…..Вы прекрасны
Cars here though seem to see the stopping distance that I leave as an excuse to nip in. When I say nip in, I mean veer dangerously at high speed without indicating leaving me with cm before I collide with their rear end. Much as I’m sure their rear end is delightful I would rather choose life. Dying with an Audi black bumber impaled around my neck is not the way I would choose to go. I don’t collect trophies unless it is in the form of shrunken heads of these crazy drivers. Most of which look pretty shrunken in the first place and in most cases I’ve noticed the heads of Audi and BMW drivers rarely touch the bottom of the steering wheel. I have no idea how their legs reach the pedals and suspect they have cut a hole in the bottom of the car and have got an underpaid African to run very fast indeed. Or perhaps they have the North Korean football team in there with them.
Meanwhile I’ve observed more police here in Marbella than any other town that I have lived. Most of them are on the road and whilst I’m not sure exactly what they are doing, their sirens add a lovely touch of sea blue to the monotony of silver cars that we all seem to buy. I just wish they would turn them on more than they do. I love a little touch of disco whilst driving.
In Puerto Banus if you want a policeman just wave a carrot. The horse will come first followed by his rider. Again, I’m not sure what these mounted policemen really do. Perhaps they gaze at the sky high up on horseback and predict the weather for us mere mortals. They say “sunshine”, I say ” rain.”
Anyway, if you ever really need a policeman here in Marbella. Just get into a car, drive and then make a phone call on your mobile.
You will have the whole of the Marbella constabulary at your disposal within seconds.
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